The Year of the Butterfly

I know that according to the Chinese calendar next year is the year of the horse but 2014 is going to be the year of the butterfly for me.

It’s no secret how I felt this time last year. (Hint: I wasn’t the happiest camper around or the easiest to be around.) I was angry, depressed and disappointed.

This year….not so much.

After last year I decided that even though we may never be rich, we could still be happy. I adopted a new attitude that events could only ruin may day if I let them. So I haven’t let them…as much.

But all this doesn’t explain why it’s my year of the butterfly.

Like most people who have lost a parent or loved one, the holidays can be really hard for me. I miss my parents a lot, especially Mom.

The holidays were her time. She was up early on Thanksgiving morning to get the turkey in the oven and make the dressing.

Mmmm, cornbread dressing. When I was home I would get up with her and help. Making the dressing was the highlight of my day because Mom and I would add ingredients then taste test it over and over until it was just right. I still have the recipe memorized.

Then Christmas would come along and the family would get together for dinner and to exchange gifts. Mom was right there in the middle of it making sure everyone, especially the kids, got their gifts.

When Mom passed away in 2006 the holidays lost some of its shine and this year around Thanksgiving I was starting to struggle again.

That’s when I began to notice them.

The butterflies.

They were everywhere.

Books with butterflies on the cover. 

A butterfly bookmark fell out of a book at work.

A co-worker brought in white lace butterflies as gifts.

Butterfly ornaments at the store.

Mom loved butterflies and butterfly things.

I have pictures from when Evelyn and I visited my parent’s grave and there was a butterfly sitting in Mom’s marker.

 

Mom never let things get her down. Tough times or hard times were learning opportunities.

So when things started getting stressful this year and the butterflies showed up, I knew Mom was there with me and everything was going to ok.

For me Christmas this year hasn’t  been about receiving gifts. I don’t care if I get anything or not.

This morning Evelyn, my mother-in-law, and myself went out for breakfast, I did a little last minute shopping, and then we spent Christmas Eve with my cousins. Tomorrow, it’s gift opening in the morning and then back to my cousin’s house for left-over Mexican food. That’s all I want.

As for this coming year, I’m keeping an eye out for the butterflies.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " A Holly Jolly Christmas" from "Best of Burl Ives: 20th Century Masters/The Christmas Collection" by "Burl Ives"