Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I Give Up!

 

In this case it’s not a bad thing.

I recently had this conversation with Evelyn:

Me: I’m not going to try anymore.

Evelyn: Okay?

Me: For months I’ve been applying for other positions at work thinking I needed to be doing more, or earning more, or learning more when I’m happy where I am. I mean, I have a job that I like, co-workers that I like and they like me, and I have a great boss. Who’s to say I would have any of those things in a new position or location? What happens if I’m not happy there? So I’m not going to try anymore.

Evelyn: Thank you.

 

So there you have it.

I’m content where I am and I’m not going to pressure myself to advance anymore.

This is a big step for me. I have never allowed myself to be content where I am. I have always felt I needed to be advancing in my career or I was failing. And that failure always translated into not only failure in my job but failure in my life.

I never stopped to look at where I had come from. My parents weren’t rich but we had what we needed, I was married at 19 with a part-time job, bankrupt at 25, unemployed at 36, unemployed again at 44; And yet here I am at 51, employed, a home owner, and happily married for 31+ years.

Not too bad in my opinion.

I’m sure all of my Linked-In connections will shudder when they read this post but the truth is I have had 2 “careers” that required me to be on call 24/7/365 or bring work home to meet a deadline. The stress was so bad at one point that my doctor suggested I quit my job because it was killing me, literally.

So when I was laid off the last time, I decided all I wanted was a “job”. No deadlines, no on-calls, no working from home. That’s what my current job is and I love it.

My first day there the library closed at 9pm and my co-workers shut down the PCs and left. I followed them out asking “Wait, that’s it?”

I was in my car and heading home by 9:04. I was stunned and a little lost but extremely pleased. The pay is not as good as a high pressure/high stress job but it’s not bad.

I guess all this rambling is just to confirm to myself that I am happy and content with my life as it is.

This also brings me back around to what has sort of become my life motto.

 

-The Good Life-
Living in the place you belong,
With the people you love,
Doing the right work,
On purpose.

 

It’s a quote from the book Repacking Your Bags: How to Live With a New Sense of Purpose by Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro (Mar 1999) and I have it hanging over my desk at home (the quote, not the book) and I use it as an email signature as a constant reminder and gauge as to how I’m doing.

I’m happy and leading the good life.

How are you doing today?

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " I Saw It" from "All in Good Time" by "Barenaked Ladies"

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Please Slap The Donut Out Of my Hand

Bleh.

Why do I keep doing this?

During the last holiday season (aka the “eating season”), I ate and ate and ate. I gained a good (ok, bad) 20 lbs.

For those of you who actually have will power and don’t know what I’m talking about, the eating season begins with Halloween candy and ends with the New Year’s Eve black eyed peas.

By January 1st I was fed up and disgusted with myself so I began to be more conscious of what I was eating. I ate a high protein breakfast, a salad and fruit for lunch, and a light dinner. It wasn’t really much of a struggle. I wasn’t getting tired of the foods I was eating and I felt a lot healthier.

On my birthday, Evelyn got me a Fitbit One.

 

 

It’s a great little device. It measures steps, distance, calories, stairs, and sleep. I began to challenge myself even more.

Within 90 days, I had lost at 20-25 lbs.

Then we went on vacation.

Within a week, I had abandoned all good habits and even though I was walking 8-10 miles a day (almost 50 miles in a week)I gained about 3 lbs.

Ever since then it’s been a free-for-all. Sausage McMuffins for breakfast, more fast food for lunch, and take-out for dinner. A month of binge eating. Bad choice after bad choice. I just can’t seem to stop myself. I’ve gained at least 10 pounds, if not more. It’s an addiction to junk food.

Today alone, I’ve had about 8 cups of coffee with cream,donuts for breakfast, pizza and chicken wings for lunch, candy, cookies and soda. As I write this, I’m nursing a cup of peppermint tea to calm the nausea roiling through my body.

Much like once an alcoholic always an alcoholic, once an overeater always an overeater.

It’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life (I weighed 150 lbs. at the age of 13) and I know I will deal with it until I die. So to use another cliché, time to get back on the horse.

Tomorrow is a new day. (cliché). I’ve got less than 3 weeks to get back on track (cliché) before we hit the road for New Jersey. My goal is to lose at least that 10 lbs. if not more and then not fall of the wagon (cliché) during the road trip.

So, please feel free to slap the donut, cookie, cheeseburger, etc.. out of my hand.

I may seem a little upset at the time but I will appreciate it in the long run.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Nobody Else" from "Los Lonely Boys [Or. Music]" by "Los Lonely Boys"

Monday, April 21, 2014

Mission Accomplished

For Lent I decided to give up Facebook. I pledged to not logon from March 5th to April 19th.  Mission accomplished.

It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought, it’s April 21st and I still haven’t logged on.

At first it was a little tough because notifications and alerts are forwarded to my phone but I managed to ignore them.

Considering I would spend a couple of hours each night perusing the site, I really didn’t miss it that much.

Sure, I missed knowing what my friends were up to and what life events they were experiencing but I did not and still don’t miss all the endless memes, recipes and game requests.

Later today I’ll be logging on to do some catching up but it will be a quick and condensed session. I’ll look through the notifications and friends requests and respond to them but I’ve got things to do.

This experiment has made me realize how much of my time Facebook sucked up and I can’t go back to my old habits.

So what have I been doing the last 6 or so weeks?

Well, I managed to read 9 books, catch up on several saved articles and magazines, applied for a new position at work (didn’t get it), cleaned up my music collection, and I spent a week in Washington DC (expect lots of pictures and stories to come).

I also spent a lot of time, as I have the last few years, contemplating how to be mindful, happy and generally improve my physical, mental and emotional health.

So with that in mind I want to share a video that was shown at our All Staff meeting last Friday. It really hit home with me.

 

I know I come off a little crazy (ok, sometimes a lot) sounding when writing this blog but I really want to thank everyone for being there for me and reading it.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Flirting with Time" from "Highway Companion" by "Tom Petty"

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