Well Hello 2016!

I’m actually looking forward to this year.

Focus is my theme for 2016.

I had very little of it in 2015 and felt very scattered and unproductive in all aspects of my life.

Just like last year, this year I’m not going to write a long and winding post about goals and resolutions.

I’m just going to focus on life and happiness, and then sit back and go with the flow.

Happy New Year to all my family, friends, and anyone else  who happens to read this, I hope you have a great 2016.

Filed under: Life Tagged: 2016, Goals, Happiness

QOTD–Who Is Your Hero? Why?

I’m not really a person who has heroes.

Well, that’s not true, there are several people I admire for lots of different reasons but not one that stands out as “my hero.”

I guess I have lots of heroes.

Since I’m writing this in May between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, my parents immediately come to mind.

They managed to raise three boys and survived. Dad worked and Mom stayed home to take care of us.

Sure, we weren’t rich but we had everything we needed.

Then there’s my brothers.

My older brother, Ronnie, pretty much put his life on hold to take care of both my parent’s as they battled cancer. My sister-in-law, Ann, was right there with him so she makes my hero list as well.

My oldest brother, Keith, has had his own battle with cancer and won.

Suddenly, this has turned into a cancer post. Not what I intended but I might as well go with it.

Cancer is something that chases us all. I’ve had several relatives and friends that have battled cancer.

Some won. Some lost.

But they’re all heroes to me for fighting back.

I have one more hero for my list.

My wife, Evelyn, she deserves all kinds of medals just for putting up with me for the last 30+ years.

Oh yeah, she’s a cancer survivor too.

 

 

While writing this, I was listening to Speak Out by Ralph Sharon Trio/Tony Bennett from MTV Unplugged.

What are you seeking?

A winning lottery ticket.

A comfortable retirement.

An all expense paid vacation.

Peace.

Mindfulness.

Calm.

Self confidence.

A calorie free pizza.

A lawn care service.

A good answer to this question.

A year or so ago, I might have answered happiness but I’m doing pretty good in that department.

I still have my melancholy moments but they don’t last nearly as long as they used too.

I guess all that soul searching and life assessing I have done for the last couple of years has paid off.

 

 

While writing this, I was listening to What Does It Take (To Win Your Love) by Junior Walker & the All-Stars from The Soul Story, Vol. 3 Disc 1.

QOTD–Today was a complete _____________.

Day.

What else is there to say.

It was a good day.

It was a productive day.

It was a cloudy day.

It was a chilly day.

It was a quiet day.

It was a happy day.

The #1 search result from Google was “Well, today was a complete waste of makeup”.

By the way, that doesn’t apply to me.

No pun intended but you can take it however you want to.

 

 

While writing this, I was listening to Brand New by Pharrell Williams Feat. Justin Timberlake from G I R L.

QOTD–What Is The Most Valuable Thing You Own?

My wedding ring.

Hands down, no other material possession is as valuable to me as that simple ring of gold.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Now Is the Start" from "Now Is the Start - Single" by "A Fine Frenzy"

QOTD–Man I Suck At This

Ok, that’s a statement, a fact. I haven’t answered a question since Feb. 11th so I guess it’s time for another marathon session.

Since I do good to remember what I did this morning, there’s no way I’m going to be able to answer these questions as if it was the day they were asked. Therefore (ooo, big word), I am answering them based on today, March 6th.

Here we go.

How many photos did you take today? 

Zero, zilch, nada, none.

What book are you reading right now?

The Art Of Neighboring by Jay Pathak. I read 2 pages of the introduction 3 days ago so I guess that counts as currently reading.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

A rare 7 hours. Normally its around 5 1/2 to 6.

Last thing you wanted but didn’t get.

ROOT BEER! I was drinking 1 or 2 root beers a day for a while. I just couldn’t get enough, then I gave up soft drinks for Lent. Man, do I miss root beer.

What mood are you in today?

Kind of melancholy. I’ve been having some inner struggles staying upbeat due to having a chance to advance my career but being knocked down because I don’t have a college degree. It’s tough to keep up on a “happy” face when you know you are qualified for something but can’t get for only one reason.

What was the last new thing you tried?

Pollo Con Cremaat 3 Margaritas in Greenwood Village, CO. One of my favorite dishes!!!!  Rosanna Waldo loved & spotted this about 4 years ago.

If you’re talking food then it’s the Pollo Con Crema at 3 Margaritas. I would highly recommend it anytime.

Non-food? I have dabbled a little with meditation but not enough to stay focused without my mind wandering (or falling asleep). Guess I need more practice.

My biggest hope is______.

That Evelyn and I will be able to catch up on our financial obligations aka the bills by the end of year. Then we can plan the cruise that I have been promising her for the last 20 years.

What has challenged your morals?

I have a really strong moral compass so not much has tempted me. I live in Colorado where marijuana is legal but have no desire to partake. Lying and stealing would make me so uncomfortable that I would give myself away. That’s what good upbringing and a conscious does for you.

What kind of car are you driving?

A 2002 Jeep Liberty on most days. A 2000 Dodge Neon on the others.

List your pets.

I have no pets.

What are three things you need to buy?

Toilet paper, a winning lottery ticket, and maybe a new shirt.

Today I felt really secure knowing ______.

That my friends, family, and co-workers support me even when I’m being extra hard on myself.

Whose life did you make a difference in today?

Hopefully my co-worker. she applied for the same position that I applied for but I don’t have the degree and she does. I was asked by her potential future boss how I felt she would do in the position and I told the truth, I think she would do very well and had been encouraging her to apply all along.

What is your superpower?

Lately, it’s been professionalism and poise in the face of disappointment.

What is annoying you?

Me. Or mainly my self-doubt and frustration over this whole no degree thing. I know I made the right decision 32yrs ago when I dropped out of college. I had a new wife and a baby on the way, I needed to go to work full time for them. I just need to let myself be ok with all this and quit obsessing over it.

Obsessing, that’s mine and Evelyn’s word of the week.

What would have made today perfect?

I’m writing this while sitting in Mimi’s Café and drinking a wonderful cup (ok, bowl) of cappuccino, and writing. It doesn’t get much better than this. Well, maybe if I was doing this with Evelyn in Santa Fe, it would be perfect.

What stresses you?

Me. Most of my stress is self-induced and it’s usually over stupid shit.

The funniest thing you heard today.

During a department meeting this morning one co-worker was explaining the Fire Alarm Emergency Kit that she had assembled for us. It has a checklist, bullhorn, reflective vest, flashlight, and orange traffic cones in it. During her presentation another co-worker interrupted her to ask if we were supposed to put the cones on our heads and shout “Follow Me!”.

If you could have a new talent what would you want?

The same confidence in myself that others have in me. I’d also like to learn how to crochet.

Who is your best friend but not your spouse?

I’m kind of lacking in the best friend department right now. I have good friends but not one or two that I hang out with or confide in on a regular basis. Besides Evelyn, I guess my cousin would be my closest friend.

What do you wish you had left unsaid?

Oh so many things. Too many to list here. I tend to run without a filter on most days so I say quite a few questionable things.

What was the first thing you ate or drank today?

A banana followed by a cup of coffee.

Are you saving or spending?

About 10% saving and 90% spending. That’s going to reverse itself as the year progresses and we start to pay off more bills.

 

Whew! That took a while. Let’s see if I can keep up from here on out.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" from "Facing Future" by "Israel Kamakawiwo'ole"

 

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh oh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,
Oh why, oh why can't I?
Well I see trees of green and red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well I see skies of blue
And I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world world
Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I?

QOTD–What Was The Hardest Thing You Were Dealing With?

Lately it has been which direction I want to take with my job. I have a background in IT so I have been keeping an eye out for that 40hr position that so rarely pops up in the library world. Back in November, one did and I applied.

The posting closed at the beginning of December so I waited and waited and waited to hear if I scored an interview.

After a month I had assumed that I didn’t get one.

I wasn’t looking for change because I hated my current job or didn’t like the people I work with. It’s just the opposite. There are just some days I don’t feel challenged. I was ok with this and had resolved to make the best of where I was.

Then the phone rang.

I got an interview if I wanted.

Sure, I said, I’d love it.

But I wasn’t sure. I had a good job, decent pay, great co-workers, and a great boss. I haven’t been this happy in years. Did I really want to risk that for the unknown?

I’m not OLD but I am getting older and there was no going back if it didn’t work out. I’d be an unemployed 50-something guy looking for a job that paid enough to help keep us afloat and pay the mortgage.

After almost a week of fretting and talking it over with Evelyn, I opted for security over adventure. I called my potential future boss and withdrew my application.

Now I’m dealing with the debate of should I or shouldn’t I have gone through with the interview. I have managed to frustrate myself because I don’t know if I would have been the top candidate or just the guy who made a good showing but not good enough.

I feel like I may have dented my reputation and put myself into sort of a slump but I am also aware that this may just be my perception of the situation.

So in the next week or so, I need to take a couple of steps back, regain my footing, scope out where I am, and begin moving forward again with my life and the pursuit of happiness.

Or winning the lottery, whichever comes first.  

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Amy Stroup - Back Burner (from MTV's Happyland)" from "As Heard on TV - Volume III" by "Amy Stroup"

 

I, I close my eyes but I can't sleep.
I, I am drawn to the heat, and I am curious.
You was the worst, but you don't know the dangerous.
I burn up the lights trying to picture us.
You are still on my mind.
You are still on my mind.
You really bring the heartbreak closer.
When you come around, I am up and down
You flip me like a rollercoaster
I think I understand it now
It's not the pain that can hurt ya.
I am wishing that I just knew how
To put ya on the back burner, honey.
Wait, I am over the ocean as its goes
Turn, I won't turn around if I am evil
Cry, you crying tears that I am leaving
You got to go on from here, don't try to interfere.
You are still on my mind.
You are still on my mind.
You really bring the heartbreak closer.
When you come around, I am up and down
You flood me like a rollercoaster
I think I understand it now
It's not the pain that can hurt ya.
I am wishing that I just knew how
To put ya on the back burner, honey.
Put ya on the back burner, honey.
The descending bending
(You are still on my mind.)
(You are still on my mind.)
You say our love is unending.
(When you come around, I am up and down)
Hold your thoughts to yourself
You say our love is for no one else.
You are still on my mind.
You are still on my mind.
You really bring the heartbreak closer.
When you come around, I am up and down
You flip me like a rollercoaster
I think I understand it now
It's time for the pain that can hurt ya.
I am wishing that I just knew how
To put ya on the back burner, honey.
You are still on my mind.
You are still on my mind.
Put ya on the back burner, honey.
When you come around, I am up and down
Put ya on the back burner, honey.
To put you
To put you
To put ya on the back burner, honey.
To put you
To put you
To put ya on the back burner, honey.
To put you
To put you
To put ya on the back burner, honey.

Writer(s): Amy Francis Stroup Copyright: Milk Glass Music

QOTD–The Best Part Of The Day Was ______________?

Hands down, sitting at the Garden Of The Gods overlook with Evelyn.

 

This was taken back in October but you get the picture. (No pun intended)

It’s probably one of the most relaxing places I have ever been.

I go there frequently to relax and think. Then, I usually head down the hill and drive through the park.

Windows down and classical music playing softly on the radio.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " the Horse & the Sistine Chapel" from "Burning Building Fall 2010 Sampler for Amazon" by "Daniel G. Harmann & the Trouble Starts"

QOTD–Who Are You In Love With?

Well duh!

Silly question.

My wife.

My first and only true love.

QOTD–What Is making You Mad?

Mad?

As in crazy. Insane. Angry.

The problem with these questions is some of them have double meanings.

That’s starting to get annoying.

Really, if I had to answer this question 2 years ago, I would have had to answer everything. Whether it be financial or work related, the smallest things were enough to make my angry and act childish.

Today, not so much. I’ve spent a lot of time the last few years reflecting, reading, and learning how to be calmer and happier.

Like the question the other day about change, I have been able to create new habits that make me stop and think instead of reacting. Sure those old habits are still there and if  I’m tired I start to feel the old frustrations resurface. I’ve learned to reroute those frustrations by distracting myself with something that makes me happy such as picking up a book or turning on some music or blogging.

The key is to realize that some people or situations are not going to change so you need to change how you react to them.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Slide" from "Whatever: The '90s Pop and Culture Box Disc 7" by "The Goo Goo Dolls"

 

Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'd give you anythin'
To feel it comin'
Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
Yeah, I'm gonna let it slide
Don't you love the life you killed?
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Don't supposed I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
It's somethin' I can't change
I'll live around it
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
Ooh, slide
And I'll do anythin' you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothin' that fall
Oh, May
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh, May
Do you wanna get married Or run away?
And I'll do anythin' you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothin' that fall
Oh, May
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh, May
Do you wanna get married
Or run away?
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything
And I'll do anythin' you ever dreamed to be complete
(Yeah, slide)
Little pieces of the nothin' that fall
(yeah slide)
And I'll do anythin' you ever dreamed to be complete
(Yeah slide)
Little pieces of the nothin' that fall
(Oh, oh slide)
Yeah, slide between the sheets of all them beds you never knew
(Yeah slide)
Why don't you slide into my room
Just slide into my room
Oh, we'll run away, run away, run away

QOTD–What Is Your Favorite Accessory?

I really don’t wear accessories.

At work I wear slacks, a button-down shirt and a name tag.

On my day off, it’s jeans and a t-shirt or sweats and a t-shirt if ‘m at home.

I don’t wear a watch or any jewelry except for my wedding ring so I guess my wedding ring would be my favorite accessory.

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Pirouette" from "No Sanctuary" by "A Loss for Words"

 

We both sat there in denial
I was miles away
You dusted off your old flats
And you practiced your plies

Blank stares across an empty vacuum
Of stubbornness and vanity
Instead of saying what you really mean
You just dance away from me

I know your shadows
I'm engrossed in silhouette
You know just how that dance goes,
My Queen of Pirouette

Cold breezes and colder shoulders
To make this night complete
Do I dare drag my feet
Dare to sleep alone?
Will you keep dancing to the beat?

I know your shadows
I'm engrossed in silhouette
You know just how that dance goes,
My Queen of Pirouette

I will scream it from the rooftop
Get this out of me
And bellow out of key
I'm too tired
And now I just wanna fall asleep
But you just dance away from me

I know your shadows
I'm engrossed in silhouette
You know just how that dance goes,
My Queen of Pirouette

Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/a-loss-for-words/pirouette-lyrics/#KqVt7AOPfvymBsqu.99

QOTD–What Is The Last Good Thing You Ate?

 

 

When I read this question my mind immediately went to the Chile Relleno at Mi Tierra Cafe Y Panaderia in San Antonio, TX.

It was just amazing. Indescribable.

If you’re ever in San Antonio it’s a must stop kind of place.

 

Just couldn’t resist this one.

 

 

 

While writing this I was listening to " Knights Of Shame" from "Megalithic Symphony" by "AWOLNATION"

 

 

Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
'Cause the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
'Cause the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
'Cause the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
Like the world is ending
Dance
Baby, dance
'Cause the world is ending
This is who you are
This is who you are
This is who you are
This is who you are
This is who you are
This is who you are
Oh
Oh
Sit back and look for the warnings
The future's bright and alarming
Sit back and look for the warnings
Sit back and look for the warnings
The future's bright and alarming
Sit back and look for the warnings
Go
Woo
Huh
Cool
Uh,
Baby walkin' around with your head cut off
Baby walkin' around with your head cut off
Oh
Baby walkin' around with your head cut off
Baby walkin' around with your head cut off
Their power's fear
And it surrounds me
Their signs, you can see
One day we will wake the walking zombies
'Til then we pray
Oo
Everybody
Everybody
The king and his ghost are laughing at me
These signs, you can see
One day we will listen for the sirens
'Til then we pray
Skeletons
Marching army
Guns
Drop your feet
I'm scared
I'm Duke Ellington
My mother said there'd be days like this
But one of the fires lit made her piss
Calling all zombies
All up inside me
Transformin' vampires
Right beside me
And you can't run
'Cause, you did, you'd be dead
And them walls can't roll from the side of my head
I beat the ghoul
My beats are cool
But here's last kiss
All suckers
They will cease to exist
I can't entertain with a beat up human
Lay waste to cities
Leave towns in ruin
I
Am a
Ro-
Bot
Whole arsenal stock
Ready to blow
Lastly you see:
Me, be 3 by 3
Firing these things called TNT
Fire these things called TNT
These things called TNT
They call me TNT
These things called TNT
Uh,
We can dance like the world's over
Yeah, it's almost 2012
Call your girls over
Let's kick back
Pop shots
Have a ball
And if the world blow up
Next life, we do it all over
Uh, yeah, let's toast to the memory
I wrote my name in the sky, so remember me
Baby, forever we
Together mentally
The day I leave my baby over somethin'
Then hell'll freeze
Froze
This world Cole, like Natalie
So
Let's lose our clothes like Adam Eve
Back to the basics
Step out the matrix
Step out your cool
Baby, get on my spaceship
I seen her face lit
She seen a sign like a Mason
So we ran home like a base hit
Safe
Life is whatever you think it is
Yo, what you think this is?
Uh, yeah it's all in your mind baby
You gotta do what you feel, like a blind lady
You gotta spread your wings and just fly, baby
It feel like you're reborn?
That's my baby
She said she feel it in her soul like a vibrator
I got some things for your thoughts we can try later
Let's hit the dance floor
Right before we out of time
And just party like it's 1999
You know what Prince said
Girl, you my princess
I got the glass slipper
I hope the thing fits
Your body on fire
Let me extinguish
Hop on this white horse
Ride to the sunset
Is anybody really
Out
There
Breath-
In'
Is anybody really
Sick
Of
Bleed-
In'
So come and scream into the
Sky
This
Eve-
Ning
And 'fore the morning I'm a
Touch
Your
Feel-
Ing
(Ha)
Let's start today
(Thank you, alright)
Let's start today
(Woo, ah, yeah)
Let's start today
(Ha ha, yeah, wooo, ok)
Let's start today
Start today
Start today
Come on down
The queen's heart
The knights of shame
The people's voice
So we pray and we pray
The queen's heart
The knights of shame
So we pray and we pray
The queen's heart
The people's voice
So we pray and we pray
The queen's heart
The knights of shame
So we pray, oh
Ooooooo
And yeah, it's no fun waiting for the fall
And there'll be no more waiting for you all
And there'll be one more chance for the truth
Without you
I would die
And yeah, it's no fun waiting for the fall
And there'll be no more waiting for you all
And there'll be one more chance for the truth
Without you
I would die
Without you
I would die
Waiting on a heartbeat
Is anybody listening?
We're waiting on a heartbeat
Can anybody hear me?
We're waiting on a heartbeat
Is anybody listening?
We're waiting on a heartbeat
Can anybody hear me?
We rob from the rich to blow down the door
Oh
We rob from the rich and blow down the door
We rob from the rich and blow down the door
Piano
We rob from the rich to blow down the door
It's been a long time, waiting on your call
It's been a long time, waiting for you all
It's been a long time, waiting for you
But I can
Bum bum bum bum bum

QOTD–What Are You Most Grateful For?

That’s too easy.

The center of my life, world, and universe.

My wife.