I always answer “no” to this question.
It’s just easier.
Less explaining.
Less awkwardness for me and the person that asked the question.
The truth is our daughter would have been 30 years old today.
I never saw her smile or heard her cry but I remember holding her wrapped in a pink hospital blanket.
She had a full head of dark curly hair.
And although she weighed 12lbs and was 23 inches long, she was the cutest, tiniest baby I have ever seen.
Throughout the years I’ve seen her in the faces of other children. Female co-workers who are around her age have made me think of her and what she would have been or looked like when she grew up.
Although I don’t remember a lot of details, I have seen her in my dreams.
I look back to those dark days at the hospital with sadness, waiting for her birth even though we knew she was already gone. No 20 year old should be making burial arrangements for their child.
But I also look back at that time as a turning point in my life. It created a bond between Evelyn and I that has not waivered since. It yanked me into adulthood and made me grow up. I’d like to think it made me a better person and husband.
I wish I could have been watching over her all these years but instead I know she has been watching over me.
She has been my guardian angel.
I miss her everyday but I know she is always with me, in my heart and my dreams.
Happy Birthday to my darling daughter and thank you for enriching my life.
